I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
