WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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