Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
