Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
