apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
