I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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