his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
