problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
