Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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