she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just want to make out with him forever
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
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