I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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