I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
