He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
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