You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
