Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Randomize
