I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
