Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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