i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
