You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
