Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
