Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
there was a trapeze. enough said
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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