If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
