May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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