I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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