I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
