Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
