I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
