Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
