yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
