I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
