I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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