You're completely useless in the revolution.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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