Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize