i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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