There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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