the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
