He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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