I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
