i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
