And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have so many feelings about this burrito
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm too high and old for this...
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
