I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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