that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
accomplished twins. life is a go
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
