You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
