Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
