Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
