My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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