forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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