And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
