but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
How does it feel to date your dad?
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
