I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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