ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
