wanna go halves on a baby?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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