Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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